Reading for week of 28 December 2014 to 3 January 2015

KEYWORDS: Individualism, Arrival, Expression of the Higher Self

10 of Rods, 6 of Pentacles, 8 of Rods

 

“The sun will shine upon you one day
If you’re always walking your way”
– Walk don’t walk, Prince

 

Individualism. The one thing I would have told my younger self was to really celebrate your individualism as opposed to seeing it as a hindrance, ie feeling different, being in a state of confusion over “how do I relay my expression in this world”. What one person will call crazy, another will label genius, but it’s really challenging to digest that message when you haven’t developed enough references within yourself to “know that you know what you know”, especially at a young age because we are still susceptible to the worlds’ impression.

 

“They don’t know their language
They don’t know their God
They take what they’re given
Even when it feels odd”
– Twinkle, Erykah Badu

 

The people I looked up to were always in some ways subversive. Misfit. I loved Boy George as a kid and my parents got me one of those old school large wooden backed posters. I didn’t know he was a boy, I was 4, and Karma Chameleon was my jam. The songs are what brought this beautiful, talented, creative and in some ways extremely lonely and later, drug addicted soul to the masses. Here was somebody rocking cowboy hats and boots, Raggedy Anne plaits with drag make up and bringing it to the masses. And they loved it. The effect of what this person resonated was sooo striking. It struck a chord with millions of people around the world who saw aspects of themselves in him.

 

As a teenager and young adult I would admire the people I met who I felt “owned” their “difference”. It was a sense of admiration but at the same time, the limiting thought of “oh yo, I’d never have the courage to be that individual”. And yet something weird happens with the passage of time. The things that really seemed like such an obstacle you don’t really give a shit for. It’s like you wake up and you realize, oh I’ve integrated that fear or pain.

 

Picasso had some quote, it was like “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” Another quote “It takes a long time to become young”, and on painting he offered, “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” Arguably the most famous / influential artist of the last century, here was a man who felt comfortable in pajamas as day wear, and would from time to time accessorize with a flower behind his ear.

 

I’m not triumphing “show off-ness”, although really nothing wrong with that. It’s enjoyable, people like being entertained, the world needs entertainment. It’s just sometimes a person comes through, and they are holding the seed of a message that humanity needs, and the perfect vehicle for them to carry it into the world will be in the form of their EXACT individualism. Like who that person is, what makes them, the time and the place that they come into, will be the PERFECT divine lay up. What they are bringing through will be delivered and it’s the PERFECT come across.

 

And yet as much as we can herald these people who we’ve celebrated in the public eye for their individualism, it probably came at a cost. And a cost that in some way, regardless of what we know of their back story, only they will know, cause they were the ones who lived their experience, who “took the blows and did it their way”. That is in essence what the “cost to the be the boss” is. How many folks give up on something when they are younger because it felt too hard to hold that expression of identity against the crushing weight of ridicule of individualism. We judge and ridicule and cringe at others but secretly wish we had the freedom to express ourselves as openly. To hold your place of reference or your sentinel out posting when what you’re expressing isn’t popular or “held” by others and at worst attacked and violated.

 

“you know, we look at Bob Marley, you know, and we say Ok, let’s just grow locks and wear the clothes and have the band and we have no .. idea how many years of struggle and pain and suffering that made that content.
-Lauryn hill on discussing Bob Marley, MTV Unplugged

 

I was flipping through my phone and the following I wrote over a year ago rings true within this message: You are connected to higher self when you are sincere and willing to see the truth, without trying to distort it from the mind or force the answer. Or force an understanding before it’s time has arrived. And understanding can never be forced, its an adjustment, that happens for everybody in their own way and time. What somebody could have been telling you repeatedly for the last year, might only start to make sense to you tomorrow.

 

This will be the last update at present, as what began as a weekly forecast has evolved into a different format of information exchange. I feel next year it will be more likely that I will be relaying it in essay/thematic format, and the timelines for this delivery will be less locked in, more spontaneous, and not so much “channeled on a treadmill”. Or maybe I’ll just skip words, bypass the mind and start channeling light language. Can’t always get it via the intellect. (I’m joking……… sort of)

 

But in any case information will still be shared on my website and blog, so thank you to all those who have given positive feedback.

Subscribe @ thedisconnecthealingspace.com for updates……. stay tuned…

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Reading for week of 21 December to 27 December 2014

KEYWORDS: Quality, Your Offering

Page of Pentacles, 6 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles

Some things are worth waiting for and they don’t necessarily work on our version or expectations of time. But something of quality is worth the wait.

 

If we look back over our year and there were things that didn’t necessarily happen the way we would have liked them to, or they didn’t come to fruition, 2014 might not have been the year for it. Other things may have been laid in the foundations.

 

Quality can’t always be forced in that sense. It’s the same way that wisdom is acquired. It requires life, life experience, living, the passage of time, the surrendering of the demands of the ego and the egos expectation of where things should be at.

 

We put “New Years resolution” pressure on ourselves that “the goal is to manifest such and such”. Bucket lists. Indeed quality of life experience can be derived from setting those goals and “ticking” off that list.

 

My point is, there is a way to work with manifestation where you experience the quality of all your life experiences , by setting intent of what you wish to transpire without attachment to the “when and how”, but you hold onto the “feel” and the ideal of the quality this manifestation would bring into your life. And like a fine wine, you allow it to age and develop to be experienced at the right time, whether it’s 2015 or beyond

 

In this way we can always approach life with wonder at the mystery as opposed to becoming disheartened or impatient. We do ourselves the disservice when we don’t recognize the miracle we already experience. This also connects to the idea of the soul really being the one in charge, as opposed to the ego. But they don’t have to be in “versus”. The soul can be like the parent within us that we tune into to reassure the tantrum-throwing ego part of ourselves, to say that “yes everything is on course, I got it set up beautifully for your growth this time around”. “You’ll attain the quality from this experience”.

 

“Love Others Value Earth”, as my friend Mr Weaver has coined. Regardless of what we think we have or don’t have to offer, and regardless of whether we feel people are open to receive our offering, when it comes from our hearts then it’s always of value, whether we perceive it as “hitting the mark” or not. We can’t always really know how our presence and lives impact others. But maybe it’s for us then to just trust that it means well, and that it has its appreciation, and it can just be individually, from us, exactly what we have to give. Your offering will be different to mine, or perhaps similar, but it’s from your heart and mine is from mine. Let’s not discredit our offering to this world. Let alone the power of a blessing to someone in our minds.

 

Your gifts can develop at different stages in your life.

 

People talk about doing their life’s work, and trying to get to a place where they feel they are doing their life’s work. And the theme for this reading seems to be about “quality” and the passage of time. The real goods, like the real golden stuff, maybe you will integrate that at age 12, or age 35, or 104 , and then you could write this amazing book that will change people’s views on education, or have the idea for some screen play that will be developed into something major, or you’ll go back to school inspired out of some experience way down the track, and then everything that led you to that point in your life will be framed in a new context and just “click” and make sense to you in a way that it couldn’t have before because it wasn’t “seasoned” , it was still in development. And the more we allow this and understand this process , we can take the pressure off ourselves to already have to be in that place of “the pinnacle of success, purpose and meaning”. ( Trumpets sound, angels sing)

 

You might have to wander this world for many more moons in order for certain things to make sense to you and grant you that knowing and perspective that activates the ushering in of the opportunity to birth or channel into this world your unique contribution that you came to bring. It may not even be some epic thing. It could be simply and profoundly the love you were able to give to somebody. But that allowing of the passage of time, the journey and the development of our souls is all part of the mystery. And I personally don’t like spoilers. So I for one am happy to wait and see. 😉

 

Hugs, Merry Xmas / Hanukkah/ Festive Season y’all.

Reading for week of 14 December to 20 December 2014

KEYWORDS: Crossroads, Grace, Guides

The Devil, Ace of Cups, 6 of Swords

“Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?”
– Theme from Mahogany, Diana Ross

 

Ok this week we’re setting it off with a Diana Ross classic ladies and gentlemen. Sorry “they” don’t always give me cooler songs to quote. The theme of this week is about using fear as a reference point. Becoming familiar with our “underworld” ( metaphysically speaking). El diablo is looking at us with a face of a messenger. He’s asking, “is this what you want for yourself?” Stop and observe.

 

It’s forcing us to look at stuff about ourselves and our actions that we don’t want to look at or even bring into the conscious mind. The ickyness. Our addictive patterns. Our sabotage. The deeper unconscious levels of it. It’s creating a pause in progression in order to be forced to peer into the darkness. Do you like what you see there or what you’re going to find? How long can it remain unconscious for? What sense memory is too painful to integrate? Where in the past did you just move on and sweep things under the rug cause you weren’t equipped to deal with those painful feelings at the time? What parts of yourself still need to be accessed and unlocked?

 

There are things we can only understand about ourselves by going into our darkness. Things that relate to us, and tell our story. Privately.

 

Through this process we’ll actually be able to see when we were “thrown a bone” and the hand of grace allowed events to transpire; people that came into our lives or opportunities that arose that in some ways really did save our behinds. Then you start to get a sense that there is a tapestry to this disorder and chaos. That there always is some hand that is reaching out to us even when it is that dark and we can’t feel it there to hold. Yet in subtle ways, it can be aligning and lining up events that occur that really do give you the opportunity to change your course.

 

Think back on people that came into your life that were life savers. There’s always been that force that’s been like “hang in there, I’ll grant you this to get through it”. Without that redemptive influence, who knows how things could have turned out? And it can be so slight that you barely noticed how it helped you out.

 

Certain things you had to walk away from, because that was a requirement on a soul level. It may have been out of survival. When growth is halted, leaving a situation is a means of survival. It might not have been pretty, and left a weird unresolved feeling, but it could have been the only life affirming thing that you could have done at that time. The reasons don’t always have to be clear, but sometime it’s felt, and you gotta find the exit. Once you have some distance and life experience you can start to understand why the situation was so unhealthy or stifling or toxic. Or even dangerous. And where would you be now if you had stayed in that space?

 

It’s uncomfortable to think about isn’t it? But grace plays a part in this mix, and it always does, no matter how angry and alone and lost we may feel. If you look back you’ll see where it saved your ass. And sometimes that grace is just that spark in you that says “I gotta do better”, or “I’ve got to change this somehow”

Reading for week of 7 December to 13 December 2014

KEYWORDS: Departures, Grounding, Peace

 

8 of Cups, 3 of Wands, 2 of Cups

 

Departures and letting go sets the mood this week. A sense of it being difficult at first, then by mid week more of an adjustment to the new lands you find yourself in. I liken it to when you start a new school as a child or teenager. At first there’s a sense of disorientation in the acclimatization to the new locale. But then as time progresses you begin to ground yourself with the new reference points and an acceptance of where you find yourself now. There is a progression on the inner journey (water/emotion) and a clearing with this which will bring in a new wave of creativity ( 3 – rods/fire /drive). But it will be driven from groundedness and a desire to explore these new frontiers after the emotions of feeling “lost”, “alone” or “unsettled” have dissipated.

Something via this process of walking away or forging your own path will ground you and make your feet firm/ give you a firm place to stand, and renewed inner authority. We are toughening up. It’s the heart chakra and the root chakra working together. This means the heart is calling us forward on our journey and we are learning to feel safe/trust and feel grounded within ourselves to trust where our heart is guiding us, and this progression is paving the way for the new year.

Sometimes clarity can only be reached through surrendering the old ties and finding our own paths. And that can be scary when we have been in the comfort of the familiar.

It’s a personal journey we are undertaking, whether it’s moving away from people or just the actions that don’t serve us anymore. It’s personal and sacred to us. We gotta do our own inner work

The end of the week feels lighter and more resolved. We may be feeling that we’re more in a state to share our experiences with others again, and perhaps a bit more outer and social, compared to the start of the week. It may also represent new meetings and connections. A chance to start afresh.