addiction

Raison d’être and the will to live

Grounding is an essential survival tool on this planet. One cannot exist here in this dimension without a sense of connection to this reality. Ultimately on some level, and this is a stretch for those who don’t believe in higher purpose, but in the context of higher purpose, we chose to be here at this time, and to operate from a unique “raison d’être”, a soul signature purpose for our life here on earth.

“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water
After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water”
– Zen Proverb

 

Grounding and taking action in this reality is the manifestation of higher form, expression and idea in physical reality. Ideal creates purpose. Ideal can be sourced from ego and therefore the physical manifestation of these ideals can be birthed, and maintained to create a life that reflects these ideals. On some level they will nourish us, creating a sense of order, structure, and identity within our reflection of ourself against the backdrop of the civilization that we know.

What happens to us when our “raison d’être” moves away from what we learnt from our education, upbringing and roles that we’ve played within society, and starts to resonate as something undefinable? When our past motivations no longer grant us the fuel to create in the same way that we created in the past. Where do we go from here?

Raison d'êtreWhen we are in this undefined territory, grounding is an essential survival tool. First it means, releasing the fear of not being defined within our old definition. It’s like looking into the mirror and collapsing into oneself. Stuart Wilde talks a lot about this topic in his book “Whispering Winds of Change”. It can be a confusing transitory period, and there is a certain danger to it, in the sense that we can become completely uninterested in the world. And without interest, there is a loss of purpose. In that state, one can easily slip into a point of apathy, loss of will, loss of motivation and complete disconnection. There is an existential feeling of meaninglessness.

Perhaps 18 months ago, I was working in a job that I wasn’t enjoying, feeling completely isolated within it, unsure if the contribution I was making was appreciated or even served a purpose. Yet I continued showing up, and going through the motions. Something within me began to switch off. The lack of interest coupled with lack of self presence in my daily world taught me an important lesson about grounding. When I was younger, I probably operated from this unconscious state 90% of the time? It metaphorically means you stop listening to that voice within you that’s saying “this doesn’t feel right, but I’m afraid to change or I’m afraid to take the action that will make it better”, “I don’t want to look at this, I don’t want to think about this, higher mind you have permission to shut off.” And so, the more we stop listening to that voice, our “inner compass”, the more ungrounded we become as we continue barely show up to our lives. Hence depression, hence addiction, hence escape, hence ungrounded-ness.

 

So around this time I was bumping this song in my Ford hoopty on high rotation:

“Like I said, you know I’m almost dead
You know I’m almost gone
And when the boatman comes, he’ll ferry me away
to where we all belong”
– Brendan’s Death Song, Red Hot Chilli Peppers

 

I was driving to the beach, and I went through a roundabout, angled the wheel left, and when I went to straighten it on the right angle the car continued to turn and complete a 180 degree rotation, and ended up facing the cars driving behind me. Neat trick. I meant to do that right? I smiled and held my hand up at the oncoming traffic, scurrying to reverse and pull off the main road into the side street where I turned off the engine. My hands were shaking. I knew the car needed work but… damn.

Instead of the beach, I super carefully drove back home, and sat on my couch reflecting on my near miss collision. Tuning in, the message I got was real simple. “You’ve been singing a death song. If you don’t want to be here on this planet, then your wish will be granted and you can leave.”

 

Ok I thought, so I’ve detached myself from my life, and ungrounded myself enough that I’m actually tempting death, although not consciously, but through the lack of connection to my physical reality I’ve created an “opt out”. And I almost clicked the “no longer wish to receive” option.

So……….yes…..grounding is an essential survival tool. If we decide, “yes I want to be here on earth” then the conscious question becomes “what am I living for?”

 

If we tune in and get the directive that we do have the will to stay here because there is ‘unfinished growth’, ‘unfinished learning’, ‘desired experience in physical reality and therefore the knowings that come through those experiences’ then this creates will to live.
But how do we apply this meaning to our lives, when we are still not certain of what those desires are? We know we still wish to be here in order to discover what those meanings will be, and therefore what we will create in our lives.

 

escapeEscape is the desire to not be here in this reality. Either through trauma, disillusionment, loss, pain, or a sense of giving up. Some people violently and consciously choose to transit out of this reality, and some do it on a slower more subtle scale. I remember reading something in Neale Donald Walsch’s “Conversations with God” where I think he was asking him (God) about smoking? Sorry I admit I’m paraphrasing, but the response was along the lines of “You commit to these behaviours because you have no will to live.”

Pretty radical statement huh? But if you think about it, when we engage in something that on some level we can admit is destructive, not life affirming, or doesn’t encourage growth within us and our lives, at some degree, or percentage, small or large, we have lost the will to live.

How do we get it back?

“Your path may be clouded, uncertain your goal
Move on, for your orbit is fixed to your soul”
– My Law, Tieme Ranapiri

 

The essence of creation is the meaning we associate with our creations. We have to know why we want the things we say we want. It’s not enough to just show up anymore and go through the motions if it doesn’t inspire the life force within us. Even the most mundane of tasks have to grant us a sense of knowing their purpose, and why we commit to them. What is the higher meaning they grant to our lives, and if we can’t connect higher purpose to those routine actions, then are we looking for an alternative that really resonates with us? Or have we closed our minds to the possibilities out of fear and loss of self confidence?

 

Let’s talk about money. One of the most sobering forces on the planet. If the desire to make money no longer motivates you, that’s all well and good, but what will your pay your bills with? What will you pay your rent with? What within you creates enough incentive to create a solid foundation internally and externally to build a future on? What drives that incentive? What keeps the engine going? Without the will, your signal to the universe will always be wishy washy. Its like going into a deli, asking for one thing, then saying no actually you want something else, then pausing at the counter while the attendant looks incredulously at you. What is it that you want?!!!

 

A really simple and powerful exercise I’ve discovered through Deepak Chopra’s “7 Spiritual Laws of Success” is working with the law of intention and desire. You basically sit down and write a list of things you wish to manifest in your life, and the reason why you wish to manifest those things, with the reason linking back to a higher purpose, ie ” I choose to create a relationship in my life, in order to experience the balance of giving and receiving and to know what that harmony feels like”, or “I choose to create a holiday to xxxx destination, in order to connect with my inner sense of discovery, the joy of exploration and to feel childlike and full of wonder”. The higher goal, is leading back to the experience of love. But you are calling in the pathways of how you deem you’d like to experience that love. In what form do you desire it? Once you write the list, you release your attachment to how those desires will manifest, and allow yourself to follow your intuition in guiding you to manifest them in the easiest way ( law of least effort ). Don’t put pressure on yourself. However, it doesn’t mean you sit in front of the computer playing video games all day after writing the list. Unless your guidance says, “ok chill for a little bit.” Your guidance isn’t reckless, your guidance is fair and practical. You’ve set an intent, and you allow your guidance to direct you to the next step of action in the physical world.

 

You can do this exercise as often as you need to. It’s particularly good when you feel stuck, stifled, unmotivated or lacking purpose or vision. It doesn’t matter if what you write changes each time you write it. We are ‘reseting’ and beginning again from this present moment and redefining our purpose and our reason for living. The clarity it brings, gives us peace of mind and a knowing and reconnection to our purpose, and at the same time grounds us back to this reality because we remember or redefine what we are living for.

 

MauriceMaurice Katting is a Massage Therapist, Reiki Practitioner and Vibrational Healer based in Melbourne, Australia

You can connect with him at http://thedisconnecthealingspace.com

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Moving beyond addiction into realignment

When we begin to acknowledge our addictions and allow ourselves to explore the totality and the depths of the causes of our addictions, we are in a state of exploration and transformation. Moving beyond the focus of our situation and battle/ duality state with our addictions empowers us to confront and bring into our awareness where we are feeling dis-empowered, or in a perceived state of weakness. This feeling of weakness is the soul yearning for reconnection and completeness within itself. Solidarity: unification within the self. Unification of the mind, body and soul. Realigning ourselves so that our actions and daily drives and desires are allowed to come back into a state of balance and become a reflection of unification of the mind, body and soul.

tree While moving through this state of self discovery it is important for us to take the “battle element” out of this growing awareness. Understanding and gaining clarity on the causes and the depths of our addictions doesn’t have to put us in a state of overwhelm and burden unless we are allowing it to. Instead it is more empowering to bring an attitude of gratitude for our expanding understanding as well as an acknowledgement that we are already moving beyond the addiction. Too much focus has been placed on the idea of struggle and that recovery is somewhere off in the distant future, or that we will never reach this place of empowerment and trust within ourselves. Instead we need to bring the focus back to the present as this is the only place of power. Even if we haven’t acted on an addiction for a short duration of time, if we know that we have already changed a pattern of behaviour, then let’s celebrate the fact. If we have already moved beyond our usual cycle of engagement in an expression of our addiction, let’s celebrate the fact. Let’s honour and acknowledge that we are already moving into that state of alignment and growth where we have allowed conscious awareness of our actions to change the course of our engagement in our personal addictions.

This is the place of constance that we are surrendering ourselves to come back into. It it not a state of striving to reach, but a state reached through surrender. It is not about ‘trying’. It is a surrendering of the duality state of separation, anxiety, addiction, craving, struggle and into a remembrance of our divinity within this individual moment. Remembering this state of being and allowing ourselves to come back into this place of acknowledgement no matter how often we ‘fall off the horse’ and where we ‘perceive ourselves to be in our state of recovery’. Understand that just the pereception of where we think we are in our recovery can actually be hindering us from allowing ourselves to feel reconnected in this moment.

 

The serenity prayer
The serenity prayer, or variations of the serenity prayer used in recovery groups, is an acknowledgement of being in this moment:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

For those who don’t believe in “God” or dislike using the word “God”, or have mixed feelings about using the word “God”, perhaps out of a sense of religious connotation, or personal confliction over how to define “God”, change the wording. Use “true self”, “higher self”, “universe”, “Goddess”, “Spirit”, “All that exists”, “the totality of my being”. Whatever wording you can think of that supports you, resonates with you, feels comfortable to you and that you can use as anchor. If the idea of any type of God / energy just feels too conflicted for you then use “the strength within me” or “the perfection within me”
For those who don’t like the idea of prayer, again as it may bring conflicted feelings or the connotation of religion, then change it to the serenity affirmation. The idea is to use this wording as an invocation to bring yourself back into realignment in this now moment.

The first line, “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” is an acknowledgement of surrender. A pause or a reflection in the moment in order to release our personal crazy. To just say “in this moment I am releasing the fight within me”. Surrender is not about giving up and going back into the actions spurred by addiction, but a surrendering of the supressive states of addction we engage in, that cover up what needs to be healed.

The second line: “courage to change the things I can” is a call to action. This is a call to responsibility and taking the acknowledgement of our addictive behaviours and placing a framework that works in our favour to move out of habitual addictive patterns. This is an owning up to ourselves. The action principle of change where we review what we are doing in our lives and make a decision of what we are going to discard and what new patterns of behaviour and modes of operation we are going to bring into our lives.

The third line: “wisdom to know the difference” is about a realignment of the ego self. It is a calling in for improved clarity. The understanding of what we wish to keep, and what we wish to discard depending on where we feel we are at this moment of our lives. And the point is that this can change and is allowed to change. Because down the track there may be other things we are ready to discard but that may not be a reflection of where we are in our evolution at this moment. The whole point of the prayer is to allow our process to work for us, not against us. Not to create further struggle, but to provide structure and clarity and a process that empowers us right now in this moment.

 

Maurice Maurice Katting is a Massage Therapist, Reiki Practitioner and Vibrational Healer based in Melbourne, Australia

You can connect with him at http://thedisconnecthealingspace.com