empowerment

Blame and the avoidance of self actualization

Stockholm syndrome is defined as psychological symptoms that occur for people that are kept in captive or hostage situations, developing empathy or support for their captors as a non necessarily conscious survival strategy. In a sense our reliance on blame can be compared to this. The fear induced and the sense of lack of empowerment within a situation or trauma that created a belief of continued dis-empowerment, can in some ways become a comfort zone to us. The blame of our perpetrators without the desire to go beyond the positioning of them as the god head in our lives.

Blame and resentment can often be filled with secret and unconscious agreements we make with ourselves to purposefully fail in order to keep the perpetrators responsible for our misery. Let’s say our third grade teacher told us our ideas were stupid and we were never going to become what we wanted to be as an adult. The anger and humiliation experienced by that event could become unconscious passive aggression where we decide to live up to their judgement of us and not succeed in order to blame them for planting the seed of that belief, or a back-handed attempt at retribution by failing and creating victimhood in our lives out of self pity, and the need to continuously justify our anger long after the event has passed. Sometimes when we feel powerless, our only power is to prove a point. ((That’s why you find so many nerds talking shit in chat rooms and forums. **I do not count myself among you ** πŸ˜ƒπŸ‘ )) Our victimhood then becoming a grown self indulgence where we get to be “right” in how they “wronged” us, because they “screwed up our lives.”

 

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The problem with blame is that we can’t see beyond this dynamic of self limitation. We’ve created a person or situation as the god head that defined how far we are allowed to progress and put the responsibility in their hands. Our anger helps us to feel justified in the wrong doing, but it distracts us from the life beyond this duality we experienced, where our perception of limitless possibility and expansion was shut down, and we conditioned ourselves to live in that confinement, either cause we bought the belief or because we want to stay limited to hold them accountable. And stay stuck in our bitch ass ways.

You have to tantrum to get to your core. 😀

When we unravel our frustration and allow ourselves to go with full abandon into child-like persecution whining, rage and antics, our trauma is forced to connect our mind with our body, because the exhaustion of the tantrum forces out the rant and trail of thought to a place where we have no more energy to give to our 6 year-old illogical bullshit. Suddenly in that state of collapse and tiredness that argument doesn’t feel worthwhile to hold or sustain anymore. We’ve expended all that energy kicking and punching out the invalidation we originally experienced and the reality we built from that experience, to a point of tiredness where our mind has no energy to continue the battle to control our reality from the point of futility it feels in shouting its desire for acknowledgement. ( Very similar to what is now happening on the collective). In this state of pathetic-ness we can then drop the containment and ask ourselves are we done with this now? Was our inner victim acknowledged enough, or would we like to continue holding our third grade teacher accountable for how our life is progressing now?

Beyond this is self actualization where “they” are no longer responsible for what we can create for ourselves, the sense of duty of care for ourselves becomes something we actually want to carry or take on board because responsibility to self and our life is suddenly alluring without the limitation we thought was imposed on us, or that we held onto as a form of security. Blame no longer works, as it begins to feel stifling, and we become more excited by the prospect of getting on with our creation than feeling sorry for ourselves. We no longer desire to dine with Sensitive Sally and Debbie Downer, and when Trigger Trevor tries to join us, we choose to see the blessing that he gives us in the form of an opportunity to understand self more, as opposed to going into rant mode and disregarding and shutting down the difference in viewpoint.πŸ€”

We all have the opportunity to go beyond our blame if we are willing to be honest with ourselves about who or what we are still needing to hold accountable and to what end?

Visit us @ thedisconnecthealingspace.com for more information on our work, musings and other dope things.πŸ”

Support of the Divine Feminine

Support of the Divine Feminine / OCTOBER 2015

Contents:
Vibrational essence spring water, miscellaneous crystal chips, wintergreen, eucalyptus, clove, sandalwood and lime oil. Packaged in 100ml Amber glass bottle with atomizer.

Themes this essence works with:

  • Reaching conclusions or destination
  • Connection to the plant kingdom and the deva
  • Balance of masculine / feminine with focus on the yin
  • Balance of action and being
  • Stimulates
  • Lion energy: The strength to follow your heart
  • Water / Kidney & Bladder Meridian
  • Egyptian / Priestess
  • Cooling off overstimulated fire / excess yang
  • Quan Yin

Assists with sensing and allowing the way the feminine can support the masculine in order for the masculine to reciprocate the exchange of energy. Divine Union, nurturing and balance. Allows for the masculine to drop into the nurturing of the feminine and open to it in order to create harmony and balance.

visit us @ thedisconnecthealingspace.com

Support of the Divine Feminine

Support of the Divine Feminine

Lunar Essence in ARIES

Lunar essence in ARIES / SEPTEMBER 2015

Crystal gridded under a pyramid on the night of the full moon

Contents:
Vibrational essence spring water, miscellaneous crystal chips, ginger, black pepper, cinnamon, cedarwood and may chang oil. Packaged in 100ml Amber glass bottle with atomizer.

Themes this essence works on:

  • The trinity / Mother father & child
  • Letting go
  • De stress
  • Frontal lobes / emotional expression
  • Crown chakra
  • Unity consciousness
  • Next generation of souls to come to the earth ( rainbow / diamond )
  • Connection to what they will be bringing in
  • Purity
  • Paradise on earth
  • The future

Visit us @ thedisconnecthealingspace.com

lunar essence aries lunar essence aries

Am I honouring myself?

A loss of power can be something that we don’t even recognise. But feeling that loss of control can lead us into a frenetic state, where we scramble to bring a sense of order back into our lives via external force. This is outward justification of the loss we are feeling within ourselves when our sense of self honour has become confused or misdirected. As we scramble to get that feeling of protection love or safety back in our being, we can quite easily flip into the dualistic state, of assessing the world around us in simplified terms; good or bad, right or wrong, noble or evil, when the truth is it’s never really this clean cut. We go into “cleaning house” mode as a way of moving our stagnant energy, and attempting to regain our sense of empowerment. Yet sometimes in this state of exalted self cheer leading, we miss the point, and we oversimplify or dramatize the situation, when really we just need to go within ourselves and ask the question; “am I honouring myself?”

We try to make “clean cuts” when we have confusion over the unresolved feelings we’ve experienced that bring up feelings of pain, lack of self love or honour. Our society tends to support this very simplistic and black and white way of trying to empower itself. It’s kind of the “Ricki Lake” method. You know? Like the guy couldn’t commit, he was always at work, girl don’t settle, go out and get yourself a new outfit. Bam! You’re empowered. And yes in a sense you’ve had a shift, you’ve recognised something wasn’t working and you feel reenergised. But what happens when you go and recreate the exact same situation?

Honour

Is it always about villains? Villainy? Yes you can look at everybody and make lists of pros and cons about them, but so what? They are who they are. Does it work for you or not? And if so, to what degree? When you interact with someone where do you feel you’re not honouring yourself? Can you change that aspect? And is it enough to reframe your concept of the exchange you’ve created with that person and to put it in a different light? Or does it mean it can’t be resolved?

How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel good about yourself when you’re spending time with others for the most part? Is it just one small aspect that makes it too much of a compromise? And if so, how can you change the dynamic? How can you leave it so everyone is honoured?

We know when we are selling ourselves short. We can deny it, but underneath that we can feel the pain of lack of self honour. But directing anger at those who are blissfully unaware of our pain won’t resolve the issue. Often our sense of self honour is tied in with our value system. But here’s the tricky part, what if our value systems are completely different? Who’s right and who’s wrong? Does it make someone else wrong if we feel we’re right? Or does it just mean they perceive things in a different way?

In every exchange, we can assess how much of ourselves we give, dependent on how much honour we feel is brought to the table by each party. And each exchange will be as unique as every individual is. If we give more and expect the same, and it’s not reciprocal, we’re going to experience the loss, and if we deny that, try to justify it and still hold out in EXPECTATION of the same level of energy to be returned by the other person, our sense of self love will plummet. But it doesn’t make anyone bad. It’s a realization.

Discernment is key. What you feel safe to share with somebody, may not feel as sacred with someone else. Your sense of self honour and honour of others, as well as the honour you receive from others will be your indicator as to what level you will co-create with another person, group or mass of people. And to what degree you feel safe, loved and honoured co-creating worlds. Only you can assess that internally, based on your value system, to know if you feel safe, loved and honored. This is how we can bring the sacred part of ourselves into the world and feel received and held by it.

Reiki Massage Bayside Melbourne

Maurice Katting is a Massage Therapist, Reiki Practitioner and Vibrational Healer based in Melbourne, Australia

You can connect with him at http://thedisconnecthealingspace.com

Medicine Wheel

 

The Medicine Wheel is traditionally of native people of the americas, representing the four cardinal points; north, south, east, west, the four elements; fire, air, earth, water, the four races; black, white, red and yellow, and in terms of healing the four bodies; physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. The balance of these and seeing ourselves as keeping the balance of these planes in order to maintain vibrant health as creators of our reality and at the mid point, “the centre of the wheel”.
From a shamanistic perspective if one were to have too much water, emotional energy, one could drown themselves without grounding this energy in earth in a practical way. To move beyond this stagnation, they would then seek to draw upon their ideas and philosophy ‘air’ and use their ‘fire’ inspiration, creativity to bring their expression into the world and at the same time align their four planes of reality; their mental body, emotional body, spiritual body and physical body, creating a perfect and effortless balance and alignment within their lives.
The wheel is to empower and remind ourselves that we are the source of our power. It comes from us, and it attributes back to us in how we balance the different areas of our lives. The areas we avoid development of affect the whole and create a counter balance, just as a slipped disc or impacted vertebrae has the potential to throw out the entire spine and affect other parts of the body through neural connection. The wheel is essentially the interconnectedness of all life.
Inner hoop 17 inches
Mid hoop 25 inches
Outer hoop 31 inches
Materials:
Brazilian Amethyst, Clear Quartz, Rose Quartz, Howlite, Caramel glass beads, feathers, yarn

Energies this piece works with: Transformation, Self Love, Self Appreciation, Renewal, Divine Feminine, Elegance

Totems:

Swan – Grace, Self Esteem, Evolution
Coyote – Adaptability, Shape Shifting, Trust

 

visit us @ thedisconnecthealingspace.com

Moving beyond addiction into realignment

When we begin to acknowledge our addictions and allow ourselves to explore the totality and the depths of the causes of our addictions, we are in a state of exploration and transformation. Moving beyond the focus of our situation and battle/ duality state with our addictions empowers us to confront and bring into our awareness where we are feeling dis-empowered, or in a perceived state of weakness. This feeling of weakness is the soul yearning for reconnection and completeness within itself. Solidarity: unification within the self. Unification of the mind, body and soul. Realigning ourselves so that our actions and daily drives and desires are allowed to come back into a state of balance and become a reflection of unification of the mind, body and soul.

tree While moving through this state of self discovery it is important for us to take the “battle element” out of this growing awareness. Understanding and gaining clarity on the causes and the depths of our addictions doesn’t have to put us in a state of overwhelm and burden unless we are allowing it to. Instead it is more empowering to bring an attitude of gratitude for our expanding understanding as well as an acknowledgement that we are already moving beyond the addiction. Too much focus has been placed on the idea of struggle and that recovery is somewhere off in the distant future, or that we will never reach this place of empowerment and trust within ourselves. Instead we need to bring the focus back to the present as this is the only place of power. Even if we haven’t acted on an addiction for a short duration of time, if we know that we have already changed a pattern of behaviour, then let’s celebrate the fact. If we have already moved beyond our usual cycle of engagement in an expression of our addiction, let’s celebrate the fact. Let’s honour and acknowledge that we are already moving into that state of alignment and growth where we have allowed conscious awareness of our actions to change the course of our engagement in our personal addictions.

This is the place of constance that we are surrendering ourselves to come back into. It it not a state of striving to reach, but a state reached through surrender. It is not about ‘trying’. It is a surrendering of the duality state of separation, anxiety, addiction, craving, struggle and into a remembrance of our divinity within this individual moment. Remembering this state of being and allowing ourselves to come back into this place of acknowledgement no matter how often we ‘fall off the horse’ and where we ‘perceive ourselves to be in our state of recovery’. Understand that just the pereception of where we think we are in our recovery can actually be hindering us from allowing ourselves to feel reconnected in this moment.

 

The serenity prayer
The serenity prayer, or variations of the serenity prayer used in recovery groups, is an acknowledgement of being in this moment:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

For those who don’t believe in “God” or dislike using the word “God”, or have mixed feelings about using the word “God”, perhaps out of a sense of religious connotation, or personal confliction over how to define “God”, change the wording. Use “true self”, “higher self”, “universe”, “Goddess”, “Spirit”, “All that exists”, “the totality of my being”. Whatever wording you can think of that supports you, resonates with you, feels comfortable to you and that you can use as anchor. If the idea of any type of God / energy just feels too conflicted for you then use “the strength within me” or “the perfection within me”
For those who don’t like the idea of prayer, again as it may bring conflicted feelings or the connotation of religion, then change it to the serenity affirmation. The idea is to use this wording as an invocation to bring yourself back into realignment in this now moment.

The first line, “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” is an acknowledgement of surrender. A pause or a reflection in the moment in order to release our personal crazy. To just say “in this moment I am releasing the fight within me”. Surrender is not about giving up and going back into the actions spurred by addiction, but a surrendering of the supressive states of addction we engage in, that cover up what needs to be healed.

The second line: “courage to change the things I can” is a call to action. This is a call to responsibility and taking the acknowledgement of our addictive behaviours and placing a framework that works in our favour to move out of habitual addictive patterns. This is an owning up to ourselves. The action principle of change where we review what we are doing in our lives and make a decision of what we are going to discard and what new patterns of behaviour and modes of operation we are going to bring into our lives.

The third line: “wisdom to know the difference” is about a realignment of the ego self. It is a calling in for improved clarity. The understanding of what we wish to keep, and what we wish to discard depending on where we feel we are at this moment of our lives. And the point is that this can change and is allowed to change. Because down the track there may be other things we are ready to discard but that may not be a reflection of where we are in our evolution at this moment. The whole point of the prayer is to allow our process to work for us, not against us. Not to create further struggle, but to provide structure and clarity and a process that empowers us right now in this moment.

 

Maurice Maurice Katting is a Massage Therapist, Reiki Practitioner and Vibrational Healer based in Melbourne, Australia

You can connect with him at http://thedisconnecthealingspace.com