So much of the collective idea around healing is to shift out of or away from pain. You could liken this to pain being the “hurdles on a race track”. If I’ve just leapt over a hurdle and I’ve expended a degree of my energy to overcome it, I could be annoyed to find another hurdle ahead that I need to “gear up” towards and put the spring in my step to hurdle over it. And then I’d look ahead and find yet another hurdle on my path. If I allow this to frustrate me, then I’d be left asking the question, “when will I overcome all of these hurdles?” “When will there be no more hurdles to jump over?”
What if the idea wasn’t that we need to constantly exude all this energy racing to cross over these hurdles, and liken ourselves as athletes on a track, continually overcoming the pain of adversity that presents itself before us. What if the pain that we look upon as a “hurdle to overcome”, was actually the healer? If we took our focus off the emphasis of getting over the hurdle, just so we could run to the next hurdle, we’d get a sense that there is no rush, only the rush that we create for ourselves.
What if we allowed ourselves to sit with the pain a little bit longer? Before the idea of needing to transmute it/ shift it/ clear it/ integrate it/ right now/ all levels and dimensions/ past life present future/ divine feminine / masculine/ mother’s side/ father’s side/ lineage/ 10 generations back, etc, etc. What if we allowed ourselves to be ok in the knowledge that it wasn’t yet healed? Would it be ok that the pain was still here and still present in our lives? Would we be making ourselves “wrong” to still be experiencing it? Or processing it at a slower rate than we think we should be? Because for whatever reason we believed that pain or blockage was slowing us up from where we believe we should be right now? Or what we should have already achieved last week, last month, last year?
Are we dismissing our experience as we experience it? And does that become another way for us to not be fully present in our lives? Does life begin once we have overcome all the hurdles? Where is this reality of constant perfection, clear skies and no hurdles on the track?
Often the pain we are experiencing is a way of honoring and remembering our story. It’s the opportunity to fully reconnect with the things we suppressed, forgot or left out in the dark. If our pain is sourcing from those stories, why do we need to fast forward through them? Do we honor our lives by turning away from the memory of our struggle? If we remember our struggle, then can we then observe how far we’ve come? By the same token, how can the healing process begin if we are not allowing ourselves to fully re-member our story, and all those lost, misplaced and unprocessed sensations we felt while we were living those stories?
If the idea of healing or being healed means a state of grace, perfection, alignment with the “divine blueprint”, then surely we would have to be in a state of “allowing” ourselves to be in accordance with that grace. If the idea of not being healed yet is “not ok”, or if we are focused on the many issues we haven’t yet cleared on our list, and we are “not ok” with ourselves until we have cleared them, then does that make us “not ok” right now? And if our focus tells us that we are “not ok” right now, and healing is a state of grace and perfection, then how can we allow ourselves to be in alignment with it, if we are “not ok” right now? If we are “not ok”, then we are not healed. The two can’t exist at the same time in a dualistic dimension.
Healing is not a battle, not a competition, not something we can always measure tangibly when it comes to human emotion. It’s the accumulation of lifetimes of stories and reliving and reintegrating stories to get the fullness of our experience, individually tailored. It’s never just a formula to replicate and apply for everyone. And it’s not something we can “try” to do, because in that sense healing is an outcome of the process of easing ourselves back into our story, with love and honour for every painful recollection.
Maurice Katting is a Massage Therapist, Reiki Practitioner and Vibrational Healer based in Melbourne, Australia
You can connect with him at http://thedisconnecthealingspace.com